3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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