So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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