When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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