Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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