I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
