once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
