I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
