Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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