I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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