I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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