WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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