i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
