I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
