just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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