Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
