The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
