i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i think i just lost a toe
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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