So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
