I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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