Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
