I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
