Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
