dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
