i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
