i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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