Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
