so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
