the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
