sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just invented taco cereal.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
