if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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