Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
