I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Couch. On fire.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
