So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize