and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
did i just pee glitter
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