I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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