I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
