My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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