Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize