We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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