first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize