yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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