Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.