I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.