If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
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Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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