I puked a lego.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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