you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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