D3 body, D1 cock
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
