We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
