Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Houston, we have a blender
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
