you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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