Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need a beard to bite.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
