How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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