I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
