when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
