Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
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I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
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He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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