Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
