I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
