I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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